Looking Past The Cover
by atWrestlingLexi
Summary: After an accident that left him paralysed John Cena has to chose except what happened to him or take the small percentage of hope and never give up on that chance of being able to walk again; Longer summary inside!
1. Chapter 1

_**SUMMARY: After an accident that left him paralysed John Cena has to chose except what happened to him or take the small percentage of hope and never give up on that chance of being able to walk again.**_

_**An old friend comes to be with John at his darkest hours, but when she leaves back to her own home when John leaves the hospital, can the John who has no self confidence build up the courage to ask out the one girl that gives him the time of day, or does he stick to his belief of, im disabled, no girl will want me.**_

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><p><em><strong>This is an idea ive had for a few months but struggled to write in the right way. I hope I managed to in the end. I really wanted this story line to work and i hope it has. So far anyways.<strong>_

_**I hope you enjoy it**_

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><p>John was laying flat on his back in the hospital, all he could remember was laying on the floor ring side and the referee counting him out, he remembers trying to move his legs to get up and not be able to feel them, he looked down and his legs wouldn't work no matter how much he pushed, they wouldn't work nothing would work. All he could think about was he had to get up, and he couldn't, and they were the scariest moments of john's life he had ever experienced wondering if he was completely paralysed, and what was going to happen to him.<p>

It was a crazy feeling, being choke slammed onto the announcers table then not being able to feel his body, laying there thousands of people chanting his name and he couldn't get up, it was a scary feeling but john's hoping, his lower paralyse was temporary like his top half which feeling came back within hours.

John moved his neck when his neck brace was finally removed "The doctor should be with you shortly" The nurse spoke softly walking out of john's side room again

John was all alone, his family were hundreds of miles away, maybe thousands, he couldn't really remember where he was. He looked when the door opened, the look of confusion on his face made the women more nervous than she originally was.

She put her hands in her back pockets as the doctor entered, john's questions for her would have to wait. "Hi John" The doctor stood at the end of his bed "I imagine there are all kinds of frightening thoughts and scenario's crowding in on you right now but I want you to be clear, no one is saying you won't have a chance of making a full recovery, it's simply that it might take a little time before we see any real signs of movement"

"I might not walk again?" John asked softly

"It's to soon to predict either way, all we can do now is wait" The doctor said he nodded and left

John turned his head away from the women in his room, he felt her hand touch his and he closed his eyes letting the tear roll down his face. "Your mum rang me" she said softly "They can't get a flight here until tomorrow, they didn't want you to be alone"

"Why are you here?" John whispered "I've not seen you for years"

"Like I said, your mum didn't want you to be alone, im the only person she knew that lived driving distance"

"It must of took you-" John was cut off by the women

"2 hours" she added

John turned his head to her, there eyes met "thank you"

"It's ok" John looked at the women's hand on his and let his fingers curl around her small hand in comparison to his, she sat down still holding his hand watching him, she knew him to well, she knew any minute now he would open up, he always opened up to her, people said she had a gift, she was the only one he would only talk openly and honestly to.

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><p>"Everyone keeps telling me to hang on in there and be positive" The women looked up as John spoke after a ten minute silence between the two old friends "But, how can I, what If I never get the feeling back, I snapped at this nurse earlier, she just came over to check if I wanted a drink or not, I watched her put her hand on my shin, I couldn't feel it so I snapped" the women fought her own tears as John let his escape, he turned his head to her "im really really scared" he whispered to her The women took his hand in hers again, she didn't know what to say but the way John tilted his head and closed his eyes told her, just holding his hand was enough.<p>

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><p><em><strong>You know the drill by now, if you liked it, alert favourite review!<strong>_

_**I'm not 100% sure on this story so let me know If it's something your interested in**_

_**Also follow me on twitter Lexi_Price**_


	2. Chapter 2

The women walked out John's side room "Hey" She smiled softly at his parents "I'm going to head off"

"Wait, Mickie wait" John's mother grabbed the former WWE diva's wrist "We um, we just wanted to say thank you for coming last night, you didn't have to"

"It's ok, it was nice seeing him again, and it's good seeing you" Mickie smiled at the couple "I just wish it was in better circumstances"

The women rubbed her arm "How was he last night?"

"Rude, Moody"

"I'm sorry" John's mother apologised softly

"It's ok, he was told he might never walk again, he's bound to be upset" Mickie nodded and walked around the couple to leave the hospital back to her life, not that she'd push John out of her mind, that would be hard to do considering what she had seen him go through.

"Aren't you going to stick around?" His father called after her

Mickie looked over her shoulder "I only came so he wouldn't be alone, now your here, there's no need for me to be here"

"I'm sure he'd love for you to stick around" She spoke softly "Someone he can sit and talk about the old times with, share some old road stories"

"I um, I might do, I just, I need a drink" Mickie rubbed her forehead

"Sweet, if it's to much don't feel you have to, we'd understand if you couldn't cope with this, this is something you don't have to witness or deal with"

Mickie looked down "I'm going to go get that drink now" she turned on her heels and walked away

John's mother looked at her husband "Do you think she'll be back?"

"Can you really blame her if she doesn't?"

The couple walked into there son's side room, that was one of the perks of being somewhat famous, you got the celebrity treatment, kept to the side in case someone recognises him. John looked at the couple, then turned his head back to looking out the window.

"Hey son" John's father spoke standing at the end of the bed

"Did you see mickie?"

His mother nodded "Yes, yes we did"

"Did she say she'd come back?" John asked softly "She told me she would be"

"Well if she said she would I'm sure she will" John's father looked at his wife "Has the doctor been to see you this morning"

"No"

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><p>As mickie stepped out the lift she bumped into a few wwe superstars with Vince and Stephanie McMahon "Mickie?" Randy Orton questioned as Triple H finally caught up to the group "W-what are you doing here?"<p>

"His mum rang me, she didn't want him being alone last night"

"How is he?" Eve Torres asked

"He um, he's been told he might not walk again so he's pretty emotional" Mickie nodded

"He might not walk again?" Triple h asked

Mickie shook her head "No but, I really should be going" Mickie walked around the group and was out of there sight range before they could ask more questions.

She needed a drink, she was so thirsty she couldn't think straight, she told John she would go back but she wasn't sure she could.


	3. Chapter 3

"I'll find mickie, ok, I'll find her" John's mother said to her son as he was wheeled away for his scan, she sighed and turned to her husband as John's bosses and friends watched on. "He looked so scared"

"It'll be ok" The man pulled his wife in for a hug "He'll be ok" he kissed her head

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><p>John was slowly being entered into the big white tube for his MRI scan, he was told to keep still, which was hard he found himself shaking slightly, he hated confined spaces.<p>

He closed his eyes and tried to go to his happy place.

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><p>Mickie slowly walked back towards John's ward, she needed to pull herself together, it wasn't her that was maybe paralysed for life "He was asking for you" John's mother spoke softly<p>

She looked up seeing John's parents and the people she had bumped into about an hour previous waiting out in the hall way, they weren't even on the ward "Where is he?" she asked softly

"He's gone for his scan" John's father said softly "Did he talk to you last night? He won't talk to any of us"

Mickie nodded "Yeah, not for long though, I think the medicine kicked in because he went to sleep" The mother nodded once again "What's wrong?"

"He came back from his scan awhile ago, he won't let anyone of us in"

Mickie shrugged "He asked me to leave a lot, I just didn't leave"

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><p>John looked as his parent's and colleagues walked in, his eyes stayed on mickie as she closed the door, she looked at everyone all looking so glum and awkward.<p>

"So um, How come they've got you laying like that?" Mickie asked, John was laying flat on his back again

"It's just a precaution until they get the results back" John spoke softly

"When will that be?" His father asked

"They didn't give an exact time" He spoke with an attitude

"They must of said something" His mother spoke again

Mickie watched John he seemed annoyed by them even just being here "Just that I wasn't to move"

"Are you comfy, Can I get you anything?"

"Will you stop fussing" John snapped at his mother "I'm not a complete vegetable" Then there was an awkward silence and one by one mickie watched as they made an excuse to be out of the room, she sore they didn't go far.

Mickie sat down on the chair she had slept in the night before "It's not there fault John"

"I'm a grown man! I'm sick of them treating me like a child!"

"You could be more polite when not wanting her help though, she's scared to john"

"I understand that, but they've changed how they are with me, I've not changed so why are they treating me differently"

"I don't know" mickie spoke softly "When is the doctor coming?"

"An hour"

"And you couldn't tell them that why?"

"Because I don't want them here for the results, I want to hear first"

"That's all you had to say to them, they'll understand more than you think they will" Mickie stood up looking down at the man putting her hand on his again "Just be civil to them"


	4. Chapter 4

Mickie sat and watched as the doctor stood at the side of john's bed "it's worse than you thought isn't it"

"Perhaps you'd like to have your parents with you while I took you through the results" The doctor spoke softly

"I'd prefer them not here"

"Are you sure?"

"...How bad is it?" John asked in his shaky voice

"It's not the outcome we were hoping for im afraid" Mickie reached forward and took john's hand "We've seen from the scans that the broken vertebra has become unstable, if we leave it there is a very real possibility that you may not gain any function in your legs, im sorry that I can't bring you any better news"

"You mean I could be like this forever?" John asked, tears threatening to fall, the look on the doctors face told John everything

"...There is an option" the doctor looked at him "It's not an easy one, we could consider operating, the surgery would require us to stabilise the vertebra, by placing a frame either side of the spinal cord, basically holding it in place and preventing it from slipping"

"but?" John urged, he knew there was one coming

"it's a high risk operation, the damage is great and if something minor goes wrong, you may not make it through the operation"

"i could die?" John questioned fighting his tears

"with the level of risk involved it is a possibility"

"...so, if I don't have the operation im going to be like this forever and if I do I could die"

"look this is all abit sudden it's come as a shock you need time to take it in, weigh up the pro's and con's, why don't I go get your parents for you?"

"no" John said stubbornly "...What would you do?" John asked his doctor

"it has to be your decision John, I can't sway you either way"

"but if it was you, what would you chose?"

"If I didn't think there was a chance of carrying out this operation successfully, then I would be strongly discouraging you"

"but your not"

"as I said, there's a lot to take in, you need to talk this through with your parents"

"no, this is my decision I have to make it on my own not with them"

"this isn't the kind of choice you should make alone"

"It's my life" he whispered through his tears, the doctor gave mickie a sympathetic look before leaving the room closing the door behind him

He looked at john's friends and parent's "I think you should give him awhile"

John's mother watched the doctor walk away before looking at her husband "it's bad news, I knew it would be" she cried on his chest

Randy took a deep breathe as he watched his best friends mother sob, he rubbed eve's back, she seemed agitated also. His and john's fathers eyes met, they both knew John had been told he could never walk again, they just didn't want to believe it


	5. Chapter 5

John was laying in the bed, he had been like this for four weeks now and he was going insane.

The doctor came in "i cant do this" he said to him

"Should I get your parents?" he asked

John shook his head "i cant spend the rest of my life not being able to do the simplest of things"

"look, believe me, with the proper help and support you'll find you will be able to do more than you think you can"

"i don't want proper help, I want, I want my old life back, I've made up my mind, im having the operation"

"don't rush into anything, take more time"

"if I take any more time im going to go mad … I'd rather die than live like this"

"you don't mean that"

"yes, I do, please don't try and change my mind, I want this operation"

The doctor looked at John, there was no glimmer of being unsure in his eyes "if you want to change your mind at any time, just say the word"

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><p>John woke up later that day to mickie sat at his bed side "hey" he spoke softly, she looked up "how long have you been sat there?"<p>

"it's ok, im used to you napping a lot" she smiled softly

"you took your time to come see me again" he whispered, it had been two weeks since he last sore her

"i know, I um, I had to sort a few things out" she smiled softly

"liar" John looked away

"im sorry, I just, I convinced myself if I wasn't around and I didn't see you like this it wasn't happening, I guess it doesn't work that way" mickie watched John "What are you not telling me? I know you John, your keeping something from me"

"don't, I've made up my mind"

"about what?"

"I'm having the operation"

"John you could die"

"it doesn't matter"

"it doesn't matter?"

"look if there's a chance I can lead a full life again even half a chance im going to grab it with both hands"

"and if something goes wrong?"

"what if it doesn't? What sort of future is this? Lying here like this for the rest of my life"

"People manage all the time John it's better than being dead"

"that's just it, im not sure that it is"

Mickie looked at the man straight in his eyes "please tell me that your joking john"

"look I want my life back, I want to be apart of wrestling again"

"and you can be, there are plenty of things in the wrestling business you can do from a wheelchair"

"this isn't about being in a wheelchair mickie, I may never move again"

"and what does your parents say about this?"

"i haven't told them yet and please don't mention it to them"

"i cant believe what im hearing im sorry John but your not thinking straight"

"yes I am! I want this operation and there's nothing you or my parents can say to stop me"

"so that's it then you've made your decision and there's nothing I can say" John shook his head, mickie looked down.


	6. Chapter 6

Mickie had pulled the doctor aside on the ward as John spoke to his family "John is an adult and im bound by the rules of patient confidentiality"

"well maybe he needs to know more"

"i hope your not suggesting that I have tried to influence John in anyway, look mickie, I don't what you two are to each other or what is going on but clearly you care greatly about him but it's what he wants, we have to respect that"

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><p>"mickie" John sighed "she had no right to tell you"<p>

"she just wants what's best for you, we all do" John's father said to him

"please John, you need more time" his mother begged "you cant rush into a decision like this"

he looked at her "im sorry, ive thought it through and it's what I want, this is exactly why I wanted to make the decision on my own I knew you'd try to persuade me"

"if you had to stay in a wheelchair it wouldn't be that bad"

"yeah son we'd cope"

"i don't want to cope" John said forcefully "i don't want everyone having to do everything for me cant you see that is exactly what would happen, if I do nothing this is what im like for the rest of my life that is no life"

John's mother started to cry "don't ask us to let you do this"

"that's the point mum" John whispered to her softly "im not asking you" John took her hand "I'll get through this"

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><p>John looked as his door opened "do you hate me?" A timid mickie asked<p>

"yeah" John said softly before cracking a smile directed softly at her "bet you only came for the cookies my mum made"

"listen I know what I did was wrong" mickie stopped talking so she could fight her tears

"come here you idiot" he put his hand towards her

Mickie took his hand and sat down "if anything goes wrong in that operation im going to kill that surgeon"

"worse case scenario, you can have my psp that you love so much, don't see that thing when you visit" he smiled

"what makes you think I want it?" they smiled at each other

"do you wanna get started on the cookies?" John asked smiling at her

"yeah, then im going to beat your high score this time"

"oh yeah because you've been so close all the other tries" John then grinned "you can't hit me remember, im disabled"

Mickie chuckled shaking her head "your despicable using that"

"may as well use it while I can, don't plan being like this much longer"

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><p>John's father put an arm around his wife as they watched John laughing with mickie as she sat on a chair at his bedside titled so he could see her attempt on his hand held games console. They thought back to 2008 when John had his storyline with mickie and they became close, he was all she ever spoke about on the phone or when they sore him, they were sure there son had fallen for the women.<p>

They both hoped they could at least stay friends if John were to pull through this. They knew he had missed her.

John chuckled softly "you um, you probably didn't know this but during our storyline in 2008 I had a major crush on you"

There was a short silence "...i knew" mickie nodded as she spoke softly

"oh" John looked away as mickie kept her eyes on her game "you did oooh ok" John looked at her "i always thought you thought I was the goofy guy that was immature"

Mickie smiled "i did" mickie watched him in the reflection on the hand held console "But you always did make me laugh, I always liked that about you, you were at the top of the business but you never took yourself seriously"

"i suppose when I first got into the company the guys at the top of the company were ass holes and the things I said about them behind there backs made me think I didn't want people saying those things about me"

"A good theory" mickie smiled, she turned to him, they looked into each other's eyes, mickie leaned down and kissed his lips softly "Don't stop fighting ok" she said softly

"i won't" he whispered

"don't give up"

he smiled "i never do" mickie chuckled softly, before standing up and leaving the room, she leant on the wall outside his room, she let out a shaky breathe, she wiped her tears and left to the canteen to get some food.


	7. Chapter 7

John had one of mickie's head phones in his ear "what you listening to?" His brother asked as he walked into the room

"garbage"

"the band?" John's sister in law questioned

"no garbage"

Mickie gave John a look, neither had mention the kiss from the night before, neither were planning on mentioning it either "I'll catch you later" mickie stood up

"oh come on, I'll listen to it again" he smiled

"bye" she called leaving the room

John's brother picked up the tubes you wear on your legs when having an operation, there like long socks "do you want me to try to put these on you?"

"i already have a pair on, there for post op" John spoke as mickie walked back in

"forgot my stuff" she said walking around the room to get it

The doctor then came in "How are you feeling?"

"more scared than I can ever remember"

"then don't do it" mickie said at his bed side "please, john"

"mickie, I thought we'd gone through this"

"seriously, I don't care if I have to be the person that wheels you around all the time"

"i do" John said forcefully

"but at least you'll still be here"

"mickie" the doctor said

"it's in all the books ive read, the mortality rate"

"look" John spoke interrupting her "all I know is I cant spend another night like last night after you left, I just cant"

Mickie looked at the doctor "can you tell me he's got a better than 50 50 chance of making it through this... can you?"

"i can remind you that this is solely john's decision and as of this morning we have the best spinal surgeon in the country on our team"

"see, the best"

"I'll come and check on you later before they take you into theatre, try to relax" the doctor said softly walking away again

"the best" John nodded at mickie "please mickie you've got to understand if I can't have my life back then I don't want" John stopped himself when his parents walked into the room

"You don't want what?"

"nothing" John sighed, just once he wished him and mickie could talk without family, friends or nurses interrupting them.

"did you have a good night?" his father asked

"no dad"

"of course he didn't" john's mother looked at him "I've been looking on the internet"

"carol, don't you promised" John's father said

"they only have to make one mistake"

"stop it, do you think this helping" Nick asked his wife

"no, let her dad, I can't possibly feel any more terrified than I already am, knock yourself out mum, why don't you all say what you just want to say?"

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><p>John was being prept for his operation, mickie was stood alone as his family stood together, she often felt like she was intruding but she just couldn't seem to stay away.<p>

"he's not going to die" Nick, John's father said to his agitated wife

"you don't know that, I read it, we both know it's possible"

"we cant think like that" he said glancing at his son's who were worried for there brother "come on, you've got to be tough now for John, for the boys, don't you think there worried to, mickie's managing a brave face"

"Mickie isn't john's mother" she said walking away into her son's room as the nurses left


	8. Chapter 8

Carol, John's mother walked over from her position in the family room to mickie on the opposite side of the room just sat looking out the window.

"I shouldn't of kissed him" she said softly

"What?" the women asked sitting opposite her

"Last night, I kissed him, I don't know why, I just did" she looked down "I should of never come, I shouldn't of let myself fall for him"

"is it because he could be in a wheelchair still, even if he pulls through this?"

"No, of course not, that doesn't bother me, it's just, I know John, if he can walk again, he'll be back to his old ways, getting as many girls as he can, ill be pushed to the side, I won't be good enough then" mickie stood up and went over to the small kitchen

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><p>Everyone looked when the doctor walked in, several hours later "...John will be on his way to the recovery unit shortly" the sighs of relief were heard around the room as a few happy tears were shed by carol.<p>

"Can we see him?" One of John's brothers asked

"Soon, the surgery threw up some difficulties, he's going to need a great deal of care, he's very very poorly"

"How do you think it went?"

"For the moment im happy he made it through, if your asking me if he'll walk again, im sorry but we still won't know" the doctor nodded "I'll send someone to get you when you can see him" he pulled the door open and left the family in silence.

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><p>John swallowed as he woke up, his head tilting to the side, he slowly opened his eyes to find mickie sat in the chair, they smiled softly at each other and he reached his hand to her.<p>

John's brothers looked at the parents questionably seeing the act, they shrugged in response, they had no clue what was going on between the pair and they had a feeling neither did John or mickie.

John swallowed again "Told you I wouldn't give up" he croaked out

Mickie chuckled softly "You also said you'd stop beating your high score to make it harder for me to beat you" she held the console up "i know"

John chuckled softly "it's a pride thing, can't get beat by some diva"

Mickie smiled "You do realise when your walking again you have several slaps coming your way"

"yes I do realise that"

"your cheeky"

"i can get away with it" John smiled "What have you gotten on the game since ive been out of it" he said in his croaky voice, he felt really drained

"well, I beat your old high score, I was really proud that I'd beat you it showed the leader board, and someone had already beat that score so I wasn't number 1 like I thought"

"nawww" John pouted

"You know in a minute im putting you in that wheelchair and wheeling you round and round in a circle till you throw up"

John gasped then jokingly glared at her


	9. Chapter 9

Mickie walked into john's room "hey" she smiled "i heard they've got you a bed on the specialist unit"

"some proper physio and some decent equipment"

"and other people in the same situation, so you can see what's possible"

John completely ignored what mickie said and looked up at her "do you know where my coat is?"

"Yeah"

"Well can you get it for me I want to get out of here"

"They still have to discharge you and wait for transport, and a thank you for coming in so late wouldn't go a miss john" she said going out of the room, John sighed and looked at where she just left, he didn't mean to be short tempered with her, he was tired and he just wanted to go to sleep.

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><p>Mickie sighed at the news john's mother told her "I'll tell him" she said she put his coat over her arm and walked back in the room<p>

Mickie took out john's ear phone "thanks" he said taking his coat

"i um, your mum just told me the spinal ward called, they haven't got a bed for you, sorry"

"what?" John sighed

"so looks like your staying here a bit longer"

"how long?" John said getting impatient, he just wanted to be in the place that could help him get walking again, not laying on the floor whilst a nurse waves his legs around and calling it physio.

"it's just a ward, this is just a ward"

"no, there specialists"

"it's not where you are John it's what you bring to it and I don't see you do a single exercise you never practise what they teach you"

"i don't like it"

"well, if your going to be lazy, it's no different laying in that bed than one on a specialist ward" mickie pulled the door open

"total cow" John said under his breathe

"what did you just say?" mickie asked him

"you call your self a friend, your meant to care and you don't"

Mickie exhaled in disbelief and looked at him as he put his music back on, she twisted her neck walked over and took his ipod and left him with the ear phones

"hey, you can't just take that" John said

"i just did" mickie said showing it him walking back towards the door

"im not ten years old" John called to her as she left the room, john's parents looked at the women as she exited

"stop acting like it"

"what do you want from me?" John raised his voice before mickie shut the door


	10. Chapter 10

Mickie took a breathe before opening john's door the next morning "hey I brought you your favourite" she said closing the door behind herself looking at the thing she brought "bacon and egg on a white roll, no butter" she looked up, she sore John just laying on the floor, she rushed to his side "John, have you hurt yourself?" she asked

"there's nothing left to hurt" he said sadly

"well, there's plenty" she said "look, John, it's going to be ok, it's ok"

"it's not ok" John said putting his face down into the cold floor as he cried softly

Mickie rubbed her neck "Don't cry" she said softly laying on her side next to him looking at him "John" she was looking at him "look at me, John, look at me" he raised his eyes to look into hers "it's ok"

"I've been horrible to you why are you still coming back?"

Mickie used her thumb to wipe his tears "because I care, people have been in your situation before john" she spoke softly "if you do all of your physio and you get really fit, you never know what could happen"

"i could wrestle again?"

Mickie sighed softly "probably not, but, use what you've got and see where it takes you"

"What have I got?"

"You've got a lot John" she said softly "Your a kind gentle loving man"

"How can I love someone like this?"

"Love isn't just about sex John"

"You don't get it, I can't tell people how I feel, I, I show them" John looked away from her, his voice went soft "I've never loved any of my girlfriends but, I also knew how I would show the girl I love"

"How?" mickie asked softly

"It's stupid"

"It's obviously not for you to put thought into it, just tell me" mickie whispered

"I um, I would get home before them, and light all these candles making a path way from my door to the bedroom, can we not i-"

"John" Mickie said

He sighed "I um, I would put rose petals in-between them to, candles and rose petals all around the room, and, if she got me, she'd know, but, I can't do that any more, damn thing doesn't work" John rolled on to his back, regretting telling mickie that

"You can talk to me, what you tell me, I don't tell anyone else"

John put his forearm on his forehead gazing up at the ceiling "You buzzed" a nurse walked in "can I get some help here please" she called out

"John what happened?" his mother asked panicking

Mickie stood up rubbing her arm "He's ok, it's just his ego bruised"

John smiled softly "cow" he joked softly

"i know" she nodded leaving the nurses to there job


	11. Chapter 11

Mickie was sat in the hospital garden, seeing John like that really unnerved her. She always imagined him as the strong type nothing could tear him down.

John's mother sat by her "He's sleeping" she turned her head to the young women "You look tired"

"I'm not sleeping to good"

* * *

><p>Mickie was sat in a café with her sister who was here to visit "who's that?" she asked when mickie's phone beeped<p>

"Oh um, just some girl I used to work with asking me to go to this party she's having for all the former and current wwe roster"

"You should go"

"No way" mickie chuckled shaking her head

"oh come it'll be good to see them again and besides you may get reacquainted with people who live around here and you need friends around here, since you just bought a place here" she said the women leaned forward "please go, if you want, ill even come with you"

"oh your so selfless"

the girl smiled "what can I say, I just took all the good parts of mum and dad" Mickie chuckled shaking her head "so will you go?"

Mickie sighed looking up "i suppose I should"

"Great, when is it?"

"Tomorrow night"

"Tomorrow? Oh my god! We need to go shopping I didn't bring anything to go out" the girl took her sisters hand and started pulling her down the street

"Maybe we shouldn't I mean, you have your flight at eleven"

"So? I'll go for a couple of hours and you stay and talk to the people you have reacquainted yourself with me whilst I've been there" the girl linked arms with mickie "ok so, you'll need an outfit that says, im unemployed, but, I have options"

"What?" Mickie asked confused "You've lost it, you've totally lost it"

"And I need one that says, I may be related to a wrestler but I know jack shit about your sport, but, im willing to put out"

"Oh god!" Mickie scoffed


	12. Chapter 12

John was sat in his wheelchair outside the hotel enjoying the fresh air, he hadn't been outside for months, John was upset he didn't feel like himself any more. He wiped the tear rolling down his cheek as mickie stepped out her car and walked to him from behind and stood beside him.

"Come to feel sorry for yourself" she asked softly

"no"

"It's ok to get upset john" she said softly "No one expects you to be ok with any of this"

John sighed leaning on this clenched fist on the arm bar of his wheelchair "What if im like this forever, only being able to walk 6 steps before needing to sit down"

"John this time last week you thought you were paralysed for life you couldn't even feel your legs, stop looking at how far you have to go and look how far you've come" Mickie crouched in front of him "John no one thought you'd even get this far, stop putting yourself down, you've done amazing to get this far"

"Oh so if this is how I am for the rest of my life I just have to deal with it because ive got to here" John shook his head "Just leave me alone I thought you got me" John then wheeled himself away mickie sighed standing up, she watched him, she knew exactly where he was heading but just decided to leave him.

* * *

><p>John arrived back at his room about an hour later, he was struggling to stand up and get on to his bed his mother and father went to help and he snapped "im fine" he yelled before swatting the cup on the table away<p>

"You can't keep treating us like this we're just trying to help" John's father spoke assertively

"Well if you don't like me the way I am why don't you just piss off, everyone else has" John looked down "Don't" John said through his tears when his father touched his arm.

"Is this because that girl you were seeing before your accident hasn't come to visit you or call you"

"no" John wiped his tears as they fell

"John if she didn't stick by you through this then she really wasn't worth anything" His mother said softly

"It's not just her" John said "I don't see any of my friends"

"To be fair John, most of your friends you worked with and you know how busy you can be working for the wwe"

"They could at least call" John mumbled

"You haven't exactly been the nicest of people to be around with your mood swings John, maybe they just don't want to use there time off to come see your ok and be shouted at"


	13. Chapter 13

John wheeled to his parents outside his room "i can't find her" he said, he been looking for mickie to apologise, John looked at his parents faces before going into his room "What are you doing?" John asked mickie who was putting her jacket on with her bag at her feet.

"Going home" Mickie said, turning to him

"Is this because of before?" he asked sadly

"No" she said "i can't afford to stay in the hotel any more"

"I thought you were staying with a friend" John said confused

"I only said that so you wouldn't feel bad, don't give me that look, I'd be going anyway, there sending you to Boston for your treatment I cant be there to" She picked up her bag "Look after yourself John" she nodded "It was good seeing you again"

* * *

><p>John was sat on his bed with his parents talking to each other, all he could think about was mickie just leaving, he didn't expect her to go home with him and sit with him everyday like she had been doing. But he thought she'd at least give him her number so they could keep in touch.<p>

John turned his head to the side and stared out the window, he knew he hadn't been nice to mickie but he thought they had fun together, a few weeks ago she kissed him, did she just forget that or was that just because she felt sorry for him? He guesses now he'll never know.

She didn't even seem that bothered that she walked away from him, she walked out like nothing was wrong with John, like he didn't depend on her, like she didn't care.

* * *

><p>Mickie got to her new apartment in Tampa Florida, she got the keys just before John had his accident this would be the first night she'd ever spend in the apartment. She put her keys on the table and sighed before walking to her couch and sitting down looking around.<p>

"welcome home" she said softly to herself before sighing as she stood up, half nine and she was off to bed she was tired but it was mainly because she was bored, John wasn't the best company sometimes but when he wasn't in pain he was the nicest man to be around. He'd make her laugh, sometimes she'd have to remind her self she was at the hospital visiting him because he had a serious accident and not in a room somewhere in America back on the road in 2008 with wwe.

Mickie sat on the edge of her bed she looked at her phone, she had john's mother phone number from when she rang her, it was whether she wanted to upset herself further and talk to John over the phone.

On one hand she regretted kissing him because the bolt of electricity she felt go through her made her go weak at the knees and fall heels over head for the man. But on the other she didn't because of the exact same reason.


	14. Chapter 14

"I don't care" mickie said to her sister in Kelly Kelly's apartment where the party was taking place "i love him, I really do and given the opportunity... yes I would have his babies"

Her sister stared at her with a blank expression "...seriously?"

"yes"

"Conan O'Brien you would do Conan O'Brien"

"Oh my god yes" mickie said sipping her drink

"ew" the younger james sister said simply "sister to sister, ew, I don't know your life is so PG 13"

"My life is not PG 13"

"oh It so is"

"no it's not"

"yes it is, you've only just moved out of mum and dad's house, your best friend was a horse and you'll probably marry that human snail Marcus, I just, I worry about you, is all, you have so much potential and you've resorted to fantasizing about Conan O'Brien"

"he is funny"

"he looks like a carrot"

"Who looks like a carrot?" a deep voice said, both girls looked at the man, mickie knew him from somewhere she just couldn't place him "hi, who looks like a carrot?"

"Conan O'Brien" mickie sister said in almost a trance "my sister um mickie thinks he's sexy"

"that's funny because I think your sister, mickie, is really sexy"

"oh my god, you did not just say that" she turned her head to him "How old are you?"

"what are you a lawyer?"

"little bit" mickie nodded

"she just qualified"

"come on?" the man said

"i know" she nodded "dont you think your a little old to be using cheesy pick up lines"

"Objection" the man said "wow mickie your really wearing that dress like your doing It a favour"

"oh god" mickie looked away

"that's a line but me sitting over there for the past 2 hours not being able to take my eyes off of you is a fact, there's a lot of beautiful women in this apartment your sister included, hi"

"i love you" mickie rolled her eyes at her sister

"but I cant take my eyes off of you, that's a fact not a line, I find you very attractive, do you find me attractive?"

"she does"

"i dont"

"you do, she does" the man nodded

"yeah she does"

"i really dont"

"you do"

"you do"

"i don't!"

"mickie can I get you a drink"

"no"

"you say no a lot don't you"

"no"

"oh boy" the man grabbed a chair "permission to approach the bench" he sat down "let me deliver my closing argument"

"sure whatever"

"mickie, we live in a physical world right, and you are going to age I guarantee you this you are never going to regret going home with that gorgeous man that one time who was a total tom cat in bed, but I can't guarantee you won't regret it"

"that's a double negative"

"Your a double negative, can I get you a drink?"

"Yanno, what, it's time to go home" mickie stood up

"Really, that's forward of you, but ill do it, so should I get my car or yours should I pull the car around have you been drinking ill drive"

Mickie turned around picking her jacket up "oh" she smiled sarcastically at him "tell ken I said hi won't you" she then walked off

"Your ken's brother?" mickie's sister questioned

"damn I wish she wouldn't of recognised me"

"wow you must of lost"

"80lbs" the man finished nodding

"Lucy" mickie shouted, the girl stood up and scurried away from the handsome man


	15. Chapter 15

_**In the last chapters reviews there seemed to be confusion, so, I got asked who's ken? Ken doane, mickie's ex fiancée, and no it wasn't a flash back, mickie went back home to Tampa where she went to Kelly Kelly's party, it ties in with where im heading trust me :D if you do get confused, just ask, I don't bite ;P**_

* * *

><p>John lay with his arm under his head "Night, try to get some sleep tonight" his mother said softly<p>

"I'll try" he smiled slightly

"sweet dreams" she kissed his head "i love you"

"i love you to" he smiled softly, before settling down and closing his eyes, he was so tired, but he could never seem to sleep something was always there to make sure that couldn't happen. If it wasn't the pain in his back, it was the noise of the ward near by or mickie deciding to stay late and talk to him. The last one, he didn't really mind though, it was mickie, he'd do anything for her.

* * *

><p>Mickie sat down at john's bed side, she got a text saying they were keeping him in for another few days because they didn't have the transport to send him to the hospital nearer home for John.<p>

She heard him breathe in, she looked at him and seen him waking up looking at her.

"I didn't know where else to go" she spoke sadly

"What's wrong?" he asked, John looked her over "You went to Kelly's party didn't you"

"How did you know?"

"She invited me, didn't feel like it, ok so spill, who was there that upset you?"

"Ken" she spoke softly

"What the hell was he doing there?" John asked disgusted, he never got on with ken, even before he knew the ins and outs of what he put mickie through during his and her relationship.

Mickie shrugged "Kelly said she never invited him, I just figured dolph brought him along"

"He has some nerve after what he did to you, but him being there isn't what upset you is it?" John asked, he knew mickie to well after there times together, he'd seen many sides to her he'd never seen before, there wasn't many left to see.

She shook her head "It was him rubbing his perfect little wife in my face"

John sighed seeing her get emotional "Want to get in?" he asked softly, she looked at him "Couldn't try anything even if I wanted to" he said softly trying to make her laugh

Mickie smiled as she let out a small chuckle, he always knew how to make her laugh "Your hands still work don't they" mickie looked down when John raised his eyebrows "i made it awkward didn't i"

"Kind of but, we could just pretend you didn't say that" he pulled the sheets back, as she took her heels off and climbed he spoke again "Just don't fidget I can't deal with falling out the bed again" he put the sheets over her, he tensed slightly when she rested her head on his shoulder "...Night mickie"

"Night"

He slowly let his arm fold around her, he imagined her to jump up because he went to far but instead she moved that little bit closer, john's mind was going two to the dozen with questions he had. Did this mean she liked him? Did this mean things could happen with them?

Another sleepless night for John wondering what was around the corner, but on the plus side, as he thought, he got to watch mickie sleep, he'd fantasized about doing that for years.


	16. Chapter 16

John woke up and looked beside him, mickie didn't come back, she didn't spend the night in the bed with him, he dreamt it all, he sighed and rubbed his face. He remembered bits of his dream but the one thing he strongly remembered feeling was content, happy, full.

He titled his head to the side and grabbed his phone, he had yet to of been on twitter since his accident, he wasn't in the right frame of mind for people wishing him to be in a wheelchair for life. Because no doubt, people will of tweeted that about him.

He scrolled his time line, he sore something that made him realise, she'd never stick around for him, what could he offer her? He was barely out of a wheelchair.

He stared at the picture of her with a group of current and former wwe roster members, she went to Kelly's party, she went to Tampa for her party when she told him she was going home.

* * *

><p>Mickie was in her local café with a handsome man she met the night before, no not that handsome man, a different one.<p>

"So, who's Marcus?" he smiled at her

Mickie chuckled softly "Been talking to Lucy then" she sipped her coffee

"Just briefly, he your boyfriend?" he asked her

"no" she shook her head "he's interested, im not"

"good to know" the man nodded "im interested in you, you interested in me?"

Mickie nodded slowly smiling softly "very much so"

"Let's walk" the man took mickie's hand from over the table and guided her out from behind the table the pair went for a walk

* * *

><p>John sat in his wheelchair outside his physio room staring, he was so angry, he just didn't understand why. Mickie was allowed to go to the party, that wasn't his choice, or place to stop her. Maybe it was the fact she lied to him about going home when in fact she went to Tampa for a party.<p>

"Thought she couldn't afford hotels" he mumbled to himself

"what?" his brother who was sat waiting with him asked

"nothing" John spoke softly, but the fact his brother wouldn't stop staring at him made him snap "She said she was going home because she couldn't afford hotels instead she went to Tampa for Kelly's party"

"O-k" his brother said "im guessing your talking about mickie"

"Who else would I be talking about?" John asked coldly

"Look John, she obviously never told you, she moved to Tampa"

"what?" John asked confused

"right before your accident she got the keys but she had never stayed a night there because she came to be by your side, she lives in Tampa, she did go home, she just happened to attend an old friends party whilst she was there, you need to stop thinking the worlds against you, it really isn't" John watched his brother rise to his feet and walk away, leaving him to do his physio with the man alone.


	17. Chapter 17

John sat in his chair looking out the window in his hospital room after his physio, if mickie was here, she would just sit with him, she wouldn't try to make a conversation, she was good at reading him, she knew when he wanted to talk or not. Sometimes she would force him to talk about things he wasn't comfortable talking about but, he always felt better for talking about it. John sore mickie getting him in a way no one had ever before, he was going to miss her.

He got over his feelings for her, and then she came and was a big part of his recovery and brought them all back with her, he looked at his phone, he wanted to text her but he didn't want to bug her. It had been a few days since they last sore each other and communicated, if she wanted to talk to him, she would of contacted him by now.

* * *

><p>Mickie got home "hi" she smiled at the person in her house<p>

"You ok?" they asked

Mickie put her arms around there waist and put her head on there chest "yeah just tired"

"You not sleeping?" they asked rubbing her back

"No, just worried"

"He'll be fine" the deep voice said holding her

"I don't think he will be" she spoke softly

"Look can you cheer up, at least make it seem your happy" he chuckled

She smiled pulling away "I'll try, he worries me" she walked to her kitchen

"From what you've told me" the brother of mickie james spoke following her "He sounds like a freak, you should worry" he smiled at the look his sister gave him

"Your cruel"

"Well if you weren't so harsh in what you say about him, I wouldn't of formed this negative opinion" the boy smiled

Mickie leaned on the counter "yanno, I don't like you"

"I've gathered this" he smiled "so um, Lucy mentioned you've been dating" Nathan mickie's brother began messing with a bit of paper trying to act casual with his questions

"there's a few guys"

Nathan rose his head "Didn't realise you were such a slut baby sister"

"I've not slept with any"

"Oh because that makes it so much better"

"Shut up nay, I don't even like any of them, im lonely is it such a crime"

"You don't feel anything for them because it's so obvious who you do feel things for your just to much of an idiot to realise it"

"come on then smart ass who do I feel things for"

"Cena"

"John?" mickie chuckled "ok nay"

"Micks, all you do is talk about him, it's none stop it would be annoying if it wasn't so cute"

"If I felt so much why did I leave" she asked in a matter of factly tone turning her back to him to pour her self a glass of juice.

"But it killed you to" he spoke softly "Your scared because the last time you felt things this strong it was for ken and that ended so badly"

"Don't nay" she said putting the bottle down looking down

"Your scared at the fact he's disabled because as a friend it isn't a problem but as anything more your not quite sure how to approach it"


	18. Chapter 18

John looked up when he sensed someone at his door "hey" she said softly to him, she seemed nervous, but John seemed to push that to the back of his mind like he always did because it had to be about him and what he was going through.

"Back I see" he said turning his chair from her "gone back on the road have they, come running to second best, he'll be where I left him, he can't walk"

"What are you going on about?" mickie asked confused

"I know you ditched me to go to Kelly's party, what is the disabled man not good enough company any more?" John sneered

Mickie shook her head chuckling softly "and to think I had feelings for you" mickie turned to leave

"What feelings?" John asked turning his head to look at her back, he got annoyed when she didn't answer "mickie! What feelings?" he raised his voice "mickie"

"Stop shouting at me" Mickie turned to him, John sighed and looked down "sorry" mickie whispered

"It's ok, shout at you a lot don't i" he looked up at her for an answer, there eyes locked and mickie quickly turned away "Why can't you look at me?"

"... I" she looked down, John noticed she fiddled her fingers a lot "Your not even trying to walk away"

"Don't turn this" John spoke shaking his head

"I'm not, look I don't want to get down the line and just be your carer, I don't want to end up resenting you because your just the man at home I have to do everything for, and im not trying to be over serious by just expecting us to live together someday but im just saying, I don't want to come visit you and all im doing is the jobs you can't do or are to stubborn to ask your mum to do, I watched my mum for years do it, and she hated my dad for it when it wasn't even his fault, and im not turning into that bitter women that hates the man that she once loved because of some stupid condition that just changes people for no reason"

"Is there something your not telling me?" John asked, as the table turns and mickie was now the snappy one, because he was talking about something she didn't feel comfortable talking about

"I don't have to tell you everything, you don't tell me everything"

"ok" he nodded, it hit John that was how he was when he didn't want to talk about something, retaliation sunk in

"it's not even about that" mickie said "it's about the fact, I don't want to be with a man that for years tells all these kids to not give up, he get's told it's that which gets them through things as horrible as cancer and here you are sat on your ass with the opportunity to walk again which you risked your life for and you just don't take it, what about all those kids you granted wishes for that passed away because of there illnesses, I bet you if they had a slight chance at changing there life they would of grabbed it with both hands and never let go" mickie looked John in his eyes "Your a phony, I fell for the man that had morals, that never backed down, never quit, funny thing, I fell for you years ago, you were to busy off sleeping with other women to even notice me, the reason I wont be with you, amongst all that, I know, as soon as you can walk again and other girls won't laugh at you, I'll be pushed right to the side again it wouldn't matter what I'd done for you, how many times I've sat at your bed side, I then would be second best, I ain't being cheated on again, it's not happening"

"Well, if you think that little of me, and think I would do that to you, why are you even here? Must want something to come off this revelation, if not, why say all this now?" John spoke calmly, he was sick of fighting with mickie, he hated the way it made her feel and the way it made him feel

"I guess I just wanted to see some fight, stupidly, I thought you thought I was worth it" mickie backed away before leaving out of the room walking straight past her brother

"mickie, micks what happened?" he called before running after her, leaving behind john's brother who along with mickie's waited outside as mickie entered the room.


	19. Chapter 19

It had been a few hours since John had seen mickie, he knew exactly where she would be, but he needed to pluck up the courage to go see her, he knew what he needed to do but he was embarrassed.

Mickie sat at the table outside a coffee shop in west Newbury, it was quiet, but that was short lived when John hobbled towards her using only one crutch. Not that she'd admit it aloud or to John, but she was proud of him, she knew what it must of took for him to come out in public like he had, he was a proud man and hated to show his vulnerable side.

She heard him groan softly as he sat down "Why are you here?" she asked softly, she didn't want to cause a scene

"We needed to talk"

"You could of just text me, I would of come back"

"That's not showing much fight though is it" John rose his head before turning to look at the women who was looking at him. There eyes locked and John swallowed the nervous lump in his throat. "You really think I'd want you to just be my carer, your worried I'd cheat if we were ever together, what do you think goes through my mind, be the cripple at home that can't please his women so she has to go elsewhere and they both pretend they don't know the other knows what your doing, we both know I'm never going to be like I used to be, I'll always have to have a crutch for long distance walking, do you really think I'd be able to cheat"

"oh so if you could you would"

John sighed "I never said that, I don't cheat, it's not me, why would I need to cheat if I had you, your gorgeous, you'd be like the best friend that's my girlfriend my friends always tell me they have, we can sit and talk for hours, we've laughed together, we've even cried together a few times and after everything you've stood by my side for the past few months, im not letting you go without a fight, I've been stupid I've treated you like nothing more than what I'd find on my shoe at times which im sorry for but, can't, can't we move past that and just have what we both want"

Mickie pressed her lips against his and a hand of john's went to her neck, they pulled there lips apart both smiled before putting them back together again.

John's brother smiled and climbed back into his car, text John telling him he was leaving and text him he needed him to get home and drove off, John vacantly remembers his phone making a noise but it was so easily ignored as he was kissing the women he knew appreciated him for the man he was today.

_**the end :)**  
><em>


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